As Long as Our Side Wins… On 26 October 1863, the Football Association was founded in London to establish common rules for the game. A major football club could launch a political party today. It has money, famous faces and an organised fan base. I wouldn’t be surprised if it won an election. A manifesto would still need writing, but there’s no reason to delay the launch over that. A man watching the match on television demands a penalty. The slow-motion replay shows that nobody touched the striker. The man sees it too, but isn’t particularly bothered. His team were denied a clear penalty last week. This evens things up. When an opposing player goes down the same way, he is on his feet. Cheating. Book him. After the match, he switches to the news. His party is raising taxes. Not long ago, it campaigned against tax rises, and he eagerly shared the speeches. Now he understands: times are hard, there’s no alternative. Four years ago, he laughed at that very explanation. The next day, someone points out the contradiction. There is no discussion of taxes. “Whose side are you on?” The football party could quite happily include fair play in its manifesto. The faithful would only demand it of the opposition anyway.