# The Martians’ Press Office. On 30 October 1938, Martians invaded America. Fortunately, only on the radio — although a few listeners were rather late in receiving that particular clarification. At twenty-three, Orson Welles brought H. G. Wells’s *The War of the Worlds* to radio. Presented partly as news bulletins, the drama sounded convincing enough for some to mistake it for reality. The real invasion, however, began the following morning: in the newsrooms. Several papers reported nationwide panic. Later research suggests the headlines travelled rather further than the hysteria. Thus, people who had spent the previous evening peacefully eating dinner, or simply listening to another programme, learned the next morning that they had apparently been terrified. The Martians never conquered Earth. They did, however, seize the front pages. Not a single spaceship required. Today, the operation would be simpler still. The landing would be livestreamed. Commenters would immediately prove the whole invasion was AI-generated. Experts would analyse the foreign policy of an alien civilisation in under three minutes. And during the commercial break, viewers would be offered survival kits at a special introductory price. I wrote about this last year in my satire *Breaking News from Mars – Sponsored by Reality™*. The Martians still haven’t arrived. The sponsors arrived long ago.